Super NES Abridged Reviews All images on this portion of the site are courtesy of The Classic Review Archive.
While perusing numerous other "retro gaming" sites recently, I realized something. Though the majority of such pages deal primarily with the NES, many of them also detail games for its successor. I similarly couldn't help noticing that, in certain cases, my views differed from those already available. The articulation of my own claims quickly followed suit. Moreover, while the NES was haven to the finest group of games ever made, the SNES teaches quite a lesson. Its games exude a certain psychology -- such that one can quite acutely examine this critical period in videogaming history, uncovering both the ways in which it reached its heights and the many things that did it in (translation: "I want to razz Mortal Kombat, and I'm trying to justify it with psychobabble.") However, this is still, at heart, an NES site. These abridged reviews are simply a chance for me to ponder the aforementioned "psychology," make my contribution to classic gaming's group of SNES reviewers, and otherwise get up on a soapbox. Because this is an NES site, there will never be full versions of these reviews -- hence the provided "Personal Scores." Moving on... -Battle Grand Prix-A remarkably fun overhead racing game in which the many forms of car damage and option to �pit in,� rather than make the game unnecessarily difficult, perfectly implement a factor of risk. Never go beyond the �Beginner� circuit, though. The speed elsewhere is not manageable.Personal Score: 7.5 -Breath of Fire-The only one of its series with which Squaresoft was involved, and as such I�m not surprised that I like it far better than either of its sequels. What really gives this game its extra �push� is the symphonic instrumentation of the music, but I must also applaud the unique battle perspective and characters, the fresh diversity of towns, and the multitude of �clans.� Still, BoF abbreviates the names of far too many of its items. What the hell is a �W. Ant�?Personal Score: 9 -Breath of Fire II-The product of Capcom�s refusal to let the �abbreviation� issue go unchecked -- they even did it to the last enemy�s name, for Pete�s sake! Also, the instruments no longer sound "real," too many of the enemies� names seem like garbled phonetic exercises (case and point, �Biruburu� and �Uparupa�), and the translation is abominable. Not only is the text laden with grammatical errors, the characters are about as articulate as an average seven-year-old (e.g. �Sleeping in the open is good� -- not �good for the health,� not �good for you,� just �good.�)Okay, I admit that I�m quite hard on this game, but I paid eighty dollars for it -- the most I�ve ever spent on any single title -- and it isn�t worth half of that.Personal Score: 5.5 -Chrono Trigger-A fascinating game, with great music, a fun premise, and scads of little innovations too numerous to mention. The time-hopping concept is enjoyable, leading one to a variety of intriguing locales -- most notably the Laputa-esque �Kingdom of Zeal.� However, with the exceptions of Magus and Robo, I don�t much like any of the heroes (Marle and Lucca annoy the hell out of me; Crono, Frog, and Ayla I can take or leave.)Personal Score: 8 -Drakkhen-To my knowledge, the only SNES RPG in which the entire overworld is navigated from a first-person perspective. The whole �humans-and-dragons-who-don�t-like-each-other� premise is somewhat tired, but it doesn�t figure into the actual plot much at all. What little text can be found is very well-written, the music adds ambiance to the game, and it�s always nice to find accouterments lying around. However, the player has minimal control over the way in which the battles are waged, and in places, that makes the experience somewhat trying.Personal Score: 7 -E.V.O: Search for Eden-If nothing else, this can be given the distinction of being the most Darwinian game ever made. The conflicts of various animals throughout evolutionary history is presented with humor (albeit not accuracy), and the various body parts allow your hero to be quite literally whatever you want it to be. However, the last two chapters (there are only five -- a gripe in its own right) abandon EVO�s realistic foundations for something absolutely ridiculous. Silliness I can tolerate. Sudden, unprecedented absurdity I cannot.Personal Score: 6 -Earthbound-A lesson to contemporary gamers and game manufacturers -- despite below-average graphics, it manages to be a great experience -- and a sad commentary upon the present state of videogaming -- it was totally dismissed by many consumers because of its appearance. Loaded with wacky comments and wackier NPCs, EB not only causes the player to ignore its graphics, but triumphs over them. Also, every song is tailored to its case, and the psychedelic battle backgrounds knock the visual rating up a few notches. Unfortunately, the novelty doesn�t last as long as the game does. By the time you get to �Deep Darkness�, you�ll likely begin wondering when EB will end.Personal Score: 8 -Family Feud-I should probably take a hint from my past disappointments and stop buying game show conversions. This is an accurate rendition of its real-life counterpart, but its pickiness about synonyms and unforgiving computer opponents sap any possible enjoyment it could afford the player. If you play it, be sure you have a human against whom to compete.Personal Score: 5 -Final Fantasy II-In its time, the biggest RPG ever created. FF2�s music, character development, and symbolic imagery still shine as a beacon in these uninspired times. Also, the quasi-mythical settings are done perfectly, and the varied character abilities set the precedent for many other RPGs. However, the translation besmirches this game with numerous broken sentences, and many other grammatical discrepancies.Personal Score: 9.5 -Final Fantasy III-Many tout this as being the greatest game ever made -- a virtual zenith of perfection. For that reason, I find myself often focusing upon its faults -- necessary from time to time, but not at all a fair habit. The audiovisuals are excellent -- in particular, the evocative soundtrack -- and the plot is stellarly done. It is both entertaining and moving to see the characters develop, but the fact that none of the heroes fail to make personal progress renders the impression that FF3 is sappier than it is -- I concur with Kefka�s belief that their little testimony about love before the last battle borders upon being sing-songy. Also, there are a few situations in which I get the sense that the game is trying too hard to be funny. Still, I must commend FF3 for showcasing characters that are, for the most part, far more human than any the genre has ever put forth.Personal Score: 9.5 -Final Fantasy Mystic Quest-I don�t know. For some reason, I have a hard time hating this game -- partly because I didn�t expect it to be marvelous. The music, though it doesn�t add its own atmosphere, brilliantly supplements the one that�s there. Similarly, the elemental regions, while very trite for a game released in 1992, still capture my interest to a degree, as do the out-of-battle uses for the hero�s weaponry. You�ll get impatient in the labyrinthine enemy strongholds, though, and the game is somewhat babying and generic.Personal Score: 8 (that�s right, 8 -- you wanna make something of it?) -Gradius III-Ordinarily, I defend shooter slowdown as a sort of unheralded slow motion that quells the stress of what would otherwise be a nerve-rackingly frenetic experience. But when I can�t possess the maximum number of Options (four, in this case), shoot, and have something to shoot at without the game reducing itself to snail pace, I suspect it�s been taken a little too far. Gradius III still upholds the audiovisual standard of its predecessors -- most notably the brilliant soundtrack -- and I rather enjoy being able to vary my power-up configuration. However, a few overhead stages (in the spirit of Life Force) would have been a pleasant variation, and Konami desperately needs to come up with some new enemies (ENOUGH WITH THE BOUNCING THINGS AND WALKING GUN TURRETS, ALREADY!)Personal Score: 6.5 -Hal�s Hole-in-One Golf-An utterly ordinary golf simulation from the early days of the SNES -- Jumbo Ozaki was originally supposed to endorse it, I believe. The little tune that pervades play both keeps one in a light mood, and coats the game�s core of typicality with a candy-layer of whimsy. However, there is no way to acutely measure the slope of the green, and any hole placed on the side of a hill invariably causes headaches galore.Personal Score: 7 -Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball-More than any other, this is the game that presaged the horrible �Play it Loud!� campaign. This sucker is dominated by mediocre grunge-style music (yeah, I equate Kurt Cobain with a trip to Fenway,) and is so hugely dispassionate in its Season Mode that the player cares nothing about the team he/she controls. Also, it is home to the infamous big-shouldered players with stupid names.Personal Score: 2.5 -Lagoon-A fun, aptly-forwarded story (that looks as though it�s set in some kind of Weebul-commune) coupled with well-orchestrated if generic music goads the player into continuing throughout �Lakeland.� However, repetitive scenery causes one to spend eons searching each and every enemy-populated area just to get to the next in a seemingly infinite series of tasks, and Nasir�s sword rivals Athena�s arsenal in sheer pusillanimity.Personal Score: 7 -The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past-Broadening the size of Hyrule was half the trip. Increasing the level of character interaction was the other. The result? An incredible gaming experience typified by a quest that matches the swash-buckling excitement of its predecessors with an entirely new dosage of collusion and confusion (not to mention even more fun items.) The trouble is that the dungeons are far too big and, once again, the game lasts longer than its appeal.Personal Score: 7.5 -Lufia & the Fortress of Doom-My sentimental attachment to this game prevents me from becoming too severe, but there isn�t all that much to deride in the first place. The plot and quota of inter-character banter grasp the player�s interest. Also, the available repertoire of powerful spells prevents Lufia from being all that difficult, and the music upholds the prevalent sense of lightness. However, the characters are terribly immature -- they completely overreact to numerous occurrences -- and their marginal lack of articulacy tries one�s patience.Personal Score: 7.5 -Lufia II: Rise of the Sinistrals-The last RPG released for the SNES, and that shows in the way it�s presented -- good graphics and mellifluous but generic music. Like the first, this game is afflicted with �moronic character syndrome,� and L2 intensifies that by showcasing one character who is inherently dumber than the rest of them (the oversized kiddy font, also carried over from the first, doesn�t help much either.) The plot -- set in the time of Maxim, 99 years before the first game�s era -- ineptly tries to establish circumstances that were suggested in its predecessor (Selan�s love for Maxim has practically no precedent in her behavior toward him up to the point when she expresses it.) But the coup-de-grace is the constantly repeating task -- go to a town, find out what the problem is, find out how you can help, go to some cave or tower near the town, solve eighty-thousand hair-yanking puzzles, defeat a boss, go back to the town, buy stuff, find out where you should go next, go there, find out what the problem is...Personal Score: 6 -Madden NFL �94-A decent, but run-of-the-mill game that has since been repeated so many times that it fails, in my estimation, to have any identity of its own. The only things that really stand out are the ability to check other scores from around the NFL while you play, and the fact that a few of the �cheering� and �booing� people look vaguely like the Beatles.Personal Score: 4.5 -MechWarrior-Take away the non-linearity of its PC counterpart (I�m talking about the original planet-hopping game, not the more recent MechWarrior 2), place a different hero in a similar intrigue-ridden story, and this version is your result. The gameplay flows quite nicely, but the battle scenery is entirely two-dimensional, and Activision didn�t use any of the more familiar �mechs from the PC version.Personal Score: 6 -Mega Man Soccer-This is what happens when a series achieves such an absurd level of popularity -- bizarre, unoriginal spin-offs that have hardly anything to do with said series. Mega Man Soccer doesn�t entirely fail, though. It�s a reasonably enjoyable diversion, but the many �power shots� are scarcely different from one another, and the overall interface seems to have been stolen from Nintendo World Cup.Personal Score: 5 -Monopoly-Its little �cinema� bits probably established the concept for the CD-ROM version -- deservedly so, since they are quite well done. However, the board game is notorious for its length, and this version doesn�t allow the player to save at all. Play it only if you have six or more hours on your hands, and never aim to beat the computer. It is a road to nowhere.Personal Score: 5 The contemptible bane...-Mortal Kombat-The only game I have ever sold (actually, I don�t think I accepted any money for it), and I did so as an exercise of principle. Objectively speaking, though, such an action is justified. The special move inputs are not in any way fluid (as are those in SF2), the music is not so much ominous as it is boring, and the gameplay mechanics are, in that victory can be achieved by doing the same thing over and over, non-existent. Also, the screams of pain are exaggerated, the inane character backstories don�t even do a good job of masking the game�s abject lack of a plot, and, oh yeah, this stinker set all of videogaming ablaze with its blood and its gore and its stupidity.Personal Score: -517.8 billion -Mystical Ninja-Japan�s bizarre self-satire, boasting excellent old-school action, adroitly shaded visuals, and innumerable festive �side games� (including one that lets you play the first level of Gradius.) Its overall variety of shops rivals River City Ransom, and the goofy enemies cement the game�s hilarity.Personal Score: 8 -NCAA Basketball-Never mind that this game excludes half of the NCAA�s conferences. Never mind that the players are named for the people who designed it. Never mind that individual games last absurd lengths of time. Never mind the sluggish play control. Never mind the unattractive visuals. Never mind the mediocre quasi-pep-band music. Never mind that the ballyhooed Mode-7 animation absolutely destroys the gameplay. Put all that aside, and you�re left with only the nifty little story about the origin of basketball at the season�s end. That is all that sells this game.Personal Score: 3 -NCAA Football-Awfully bare-bones, but this title can be fun for about an hour. I can aptly describe almost everything about the game as �average� -- except possibly the strength of the kickers. It is not difficult to emerge victorious, but the gameplay itself is so sluggish and dull that I can hardly count that as a plus. It took a last-second hail mary, by way of which I beat Colorado with Southern Mississippi, to get me in any way �psyched up.�Personal Score: 5 -PilotWings-A truly unique idea, but the play control is so jerky and the game so otherwise difficult that it would take a Class A pilot to score decently after the second level. Just fly around and listen to the decent music, or go up to 1000 feet and turn off your engine -- that�s fun. PilotWings can, however, be a great quick play. In that regard, I do not doubt that it is among the best non-RPGs I own for this system.Personal Score: 7 -Robotrek-Bear in mind both the versatility of the Role-Playing genre and my own proclivity to avoid speaking in absolutes, and you�ll realize the significance of my proclamation that this is the worst RPG I have ever encountered.* It didn�t have to be that way, either -- but the single-combat battle premise doesn�t work at all, and is intensified by the fact that the robot has to be at �full energy� before it can do ANYTHING (this worked in Square�s games simply because the player was in control of more than one character, and the enemies seldom got to attack more than once while one waited for one�s characters to become ready). I could also do without those slimes that pop up out of nowhere, and the random and thoroughly unfair way in which damage is inflicted upon bosses (if it�s not a critical hit, it does nothing.) Plus, Robotrek is yet another of those RPGs that affronts its player with a smattering of unbelievably stupid characters made to seem even more idiotic by a horrid translation (�your robotscan be maintenaned�). High marks for innovation; low ones for execution -- the only feature that really works is the ability to program attacks into your droid.Personal Score: 3.5* Having never had the displeasure to play The 7th Saga, though, I can�t be sure of the validity of this claim. -Secret of Mana-It will try your patience at times -- especially when your computer-controlled characters get stuck behind something, won�t stop attacking enemies when you want to proceed, or otherwise exist -- but SoM possesses one of the few �serious-plots-in-a-silly-world� that I can tolerate. The story is excellently forwarded, and the settings are both unique and lushly colored. However, this, like Earthbound, is one of those games that is too long for its own good. It�s a shame, too. The excessive length could have been easily avoided if Square had curtailed some of the pointless tangents (ahem, Sage Joch).Personal Score: 7.5 -SimCity-Though not to the degree of my good friend David Schuette, I am quite a fan of the �Sim� genre. For that reason, I hold this game in extremely high regard. Though I have to play it at its highest speed to salvage my patience, the impressive, generally peaceful soundtrack provides ample serenity while I wait for my town to develop. Also, the game�s visuals make a big leap once one�s city becomes established. There�s nothing quite like surveying the many blocks of a metropolis from above.Personal Score: 8.5 -Space Megaforce-An absolutely textbook overhead shooter -- replete with a hodgepodge of weapons, a constant stream of enemies and obstacles, plenty of explosions, and bosses that say things like �Welcome to the underworld.� The action is fast-paced and energetic, but the game is kept from being overly difficult by the fact that damage is assessed through the level of one�s weapon. There are also myriad forms of enemies with equally varied capabilities, and slowdown is non-existent despite the detailed graphics. My only complaint is that this game is truly not much more than an enhancement of the status quo -- everything is excellent, but none of it is especially �new.�Personal Score: 8 -StarFox-By my argument, this game marked the beginning of the end for videogaming outside of the RPG milieu. The console conversions of Mortal Kombat followed at its heels, as did Nintendo�s presently-active sojourn in hell. Anyway, at least the shooter genre left in style (and I am not speaking of the Super FX ship -- that doesn�t make any huge difference.) StarFox boasts excellent music and sophisticated flight action, the latter being exemplified by the inclusion of Fox�s allies and �The Andross Space Armada.� Moreover, this game upholds the personality and whimsy that once prevailed throughout all videogaming. StarFox sells itself with fun, not explosions.Personal Score: 8 -Street Fighter II-Though the game controls easily and the audiovisuals are pleasing, SF2 strikes me as rather blah, partly because I can�t forget what it caused. Again, the character subplots have virtually nothing to do with the game, and, as with this entire genre, I never quite get the sense of �going� anywhere. The varied stages, in all their ethnically stereotypical splendor, are just too spatially constrained to supply any sense of progress.Personal Score: 3 -Super Baseball Simulator 1.000-When the game lost its cartoonish simplicity, it also lost its appeal. The characters are no longer pudgy, the music is too realistic, and the game plays too quickly. Also, half of the ultra plays have been altered from the original -- all of them for the worse. Let this be a lesson to you �modern gamers� -- better technical merits do not guarantee a better game.Personal Score: 5.5 -Super Mario Kart-A title that came out during a period of �down time� in game production and gained cult popularity. SMK was one of the first examples of Nintendo�s current level of arrogance -- their belief that they could plop their headline characters into any genre and expect people to buy the result. However, this is a good game -- an exceptional game by spin-off standards. The audiovisuals fulfill their purpose, the game controls well enough if the player isn�t bent upon going as fast as possible all the time, and the Marioan elements are implemented creatively (this is certainly more than a racing game that happens to have Mario and Luigi in it.) Also, numerous �weapons�, the variety of courses, and the keeping of records add addictiveness to its appeal. I defy you not to become fixated upon breaking your old marks.Personal Score: 7.5 -Super Mario RPG-Having ranted as has become my habit about what happened to Nintendo after the release of StarFox, I can�t help but be refreshed by this game. Superb audiovisuals, exceptional gameplay, and the overall sense that the big N still, in some vague way, has a sense of humor about itself reassure the player to a point. However, the game seems to be trying too hard to impress -- which could explain its short length as some kind of designer�s burnout.Personal Score: 8.5 -Super Mario World-In general, I tend not to be drawn in by games whose primary function is to showcase their platform, but SMW exceeds my expectations to an extent -- probably due to the locales one encounters after �World 2.� In the end, though, I can�t get past the fact that more than half of the soundtrack is comprised of variations of the same melody, and this installment doesn�t quite live up to the standard of gameplay innovation set by its predecessors.Personal Score: 6 -Super Play Action Football-Due to a few wonderful days in the summer of �93 upon which I still reflect fondly, I�m willing to overlook the fact that this game pointlessly renames half of the NCAA, as well as its entirely chance-based passing interface. However, I cannot pardon the ridiculous speed at which the players fatigue (they often do so in mid-run), nor can I comprehend why the programmers confined the option to substitute players to the NFL. There are many college games in which the absence of that feature is the difference between victory and defeat.Personal Score: 6 -Super Punch-Out!!-Proof positive that Nintendo�s attitude-laden commercial philosophy not only fails to produce enjoyable new games, but screws up the old paradigms as well. From the unamusing obesity of Bear Hugger and Mad Clown to the asinine cultural stereotypes evident in Bob Charlie and Dragon Chan, the cool wit of Punch-Out!! becomes absurdity in this vehicle. Moreover, half of the new opponents� �techniques� have nothing to do with boxing. On an unrelated note, would it kill Nintendo to forget about their damned electric guitar noises?Personal Score: 4.5 -Super Soccer-I�ve put it a hundred different ways, so I�ll just say it plainly this time: 3-D PERSPECTIVES DO NOT COMPENSATE FOR BAD GAMEPLAY! In this case, the problem is that, for a full half of the game, the fixed camera makes it impossible to see your goalkeeper while the opposition shoots at you. Moreover, you have to make most of your passes blindly because the accursed first-man view forbids you to see anything to either side. Also, some the music sounds vaguely like a precursor to Nintendo�s eventual new-age heavy metal crap. The portion that doesn�t is somewhat enjoyable, though -- and at least they got the uniforms right.Personal Score: 3.5 -Super Tennis-A decent simulation of tennis featuring strikingly accurate sound effects and play that is fast-paced but not frenzied. Winning becomes quite easy if you abuse the �top spin�, though, so you�re stuck with either going unchallenged or not utilizing one of the best parts of your arsenal. In my estimation, that makes play seem artificial, even if the �circuit� option does save it with a good rendition the ATP year.Personal Score: 6 -Tecmo Super NBA Basketball-One of the last attempts to port basketball into a video game that didn�t devote itself entirely to realism. For both that reason and the quick pace upon which the gameplay is founded, I enjoy this title quite a lot. However, the ball rattles around in the basket too much, making missed shots all the more irritating. Also, the court is too small -- a factor resulting in an excess of fouls.Personal Score: 6 -Vegas Stakes-Now this, modern gamers, is the way it�s done -- incredible audiovisuals in a game that would be fun without them. From the array of unique personalities -- meaning both the people you encounter and the casinos themselves -- to the overtones of ambition, VS portrays the gambling experience with more charisma than any game ever has. My only complaints are that there are too few games, and the ending is about as inspired as The Martin Short Show.Personal Score: 7 -Waialae Country Club-Surprisingly, WCC�s blockish visuals conceal a decent game. The logistics of golf are translated passably, and what little music exists can be placed only a few steps below the proverbial summit. However, everything about the actual simulation moves too slowly, and there is not quite as much sound as I would have wanted.Personal Score: 5.5 -Wanderers from Ys III-Finally, some articulate characters -- they speak a little quaintly, but at least they sound like adults. The action manages to be both fast-paced and strategic, the music is excellent, and the plot unfolds beautifully. Also, the ending is a veritable manifesto for individuality and the free spirit ethic (and accompanied by one of the most moving songs in all videogaming, while we�re on the subject). The only trouble is that the game doesn�t last long enough. I suspect they cut a lot out of the original in making this conversion.Personal Score: 9 -Winter Olympic Games-Every Olympic season is accompanied by a collection of video games, and, as though it is a part of the tradition, most of those based on the winter events manage to be abominations (Winter Games, anybody?) This time, the fault lies in the ridiculous level of challenge (how fast do they think human thumbs move, anyway?) and inexplicably ominous soundtrack. Even if one can keep from totally fouling up the controls, the chances of finishing higher than 15th are practically nonexistent.Personal Score: 2.5
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