The True Plot of Dragon Warrior

Author: Tim Connolly

[Ed. Note: Loog originally intended that this extrapolation be posted in the pedantry section. However, in addition to being pompous, I am also selfish, and never intended to accept outside contributions to that portion of the site or otherwise "share the wealth" beyond the extent to which I do now (although one can never know what sections I may open in the future). As a compromise that wouldn't have been necessary had your resident webmaster had more friends as a child, done charitable work at some point, or been born as a different person, I have placed it here.]


You see, when one first plays Dragon Warrior, they get the impression that this is a game about good and evil, about a dastardly Dragonlord who wants the kingdom of Alefgard to be veiled in a shroud of darkness while his creatures (including a sadly misrepresented werewolf) rule the land. However, when one looks deeper into the game, s/he realizes the true plot-forwarding vehicle: cartography.

The plot is not about an evil Dragonlord. It's about mapmaking. The original story of Dragon Warrior was this: just about the time that new maps of Alefgard were to be drawn, King Lorik and the Dragonlord were having a squabble over the one thing that would make their castle supreme: Being at the center of the universe.

Of course, it would be impossible for such a thing to occur. When one considers the rotation of the planet, and the revolution around its sun, even if Alefgard were the center of the universe, it would only be so for a few minutes out of the year. So, the lords of each castle would settle for being the center of the kingdom.

Here's where the argument comes in: Lorik thinks Tantegel Castle is at the center of the kingdom, and his nationalistic attitude would never concede to the fact that maybe Charlock Castle is actually in the center. So how does one explain the countless "enemies" that besiege our hero? Simply fellow triangulators employed by the Dragonlord to set things straight, merely defending themselves against the unwarranted attack by what's-his-name. Erdrick? A legendary cartographer. And the token used to verify your lineage to Erdrick is actually a decorated tape measure.

Of course, whenever blood is spilled for a cause, nobody wins - especially when one realizes that neither Tantegel nor Charlock lays exactly in the center of Alefgard - that honor is bestowed on a craggy mountain in the upper regions of the final island. The doomed Dragonlord can at least take solace in the fact that his castle was closer to the middle.

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